It all began in the far eastern part of the Holy Land, on the shores of what is now known as The Dead Sea. I was three years old and my elder sister, Marta and I were playing in the warm sands, as a gentle breeze splashed the salty waters into a fine mist of sparkling rainbow light. Our giggles rippled across the ancient landscape, freeing the wise souls from lifetimes past; allowing them to whisper the knowledge of remembrance into our pure crystalline hearts and minds.

We seemed totally unaware and yet our awareness of each and every moment, movement and magical sight and sound, created the perfect opportunity for the integration of this vital information that would help us become who we are today. 

It is I, Maria, who writes this story of my own ‘awakening’, but I know I share this story with other women from many lifetimes. I write as a woman in a man’s world, but also as a woman who has always known her self to be both masculine and feminine. 

On that glorious day so long ago, I recall my absolute love of each and every tiny stone, each bird that flew overhead, each breath of the wind, each wave splashing on the shore. This was ecstasy to me; pure bliss that flowed through me as gleeful laughter, setting me free to fly high above the desert of an unjust world. 

Oh, what joy to be a free spirit; to feel myself in this world, but not of it!

Wow! I’ve found this beautiful rock by the seashore! To most it would be just another plane old rock, but to me this is my friend, my link with the Great Mother; the land which I love as my dear and blessed home. As I touch the warmth of this big old rock I hear it sing to me in deep resonating tones that touch a deep sadness inside of me. Tears fall, as I release and let go of burdens that weigh down my own sweet innocence and that of so many who are fearful of surrendering to the depths of their own emotions. …and then, I Am suddenly surprised by the incandescent pure vibrations of an angelic choir of supreme sopranos that lift my heart to boundless bliss! The joy I feel at this magical communication overwhelms me and draws me into create my own playful sounds of gladness at this reunion and remembrance of times when to talk with the stones; to talk to nature, was the norm and very much a part of our everyday existence. I dance and sing until I can no more and fall to the ground in giggles of laughter and sheer delight at this beautiful bonding of heart and soul to the Mother of Us All. A deep calm washes over me as I lie on the Earth, feeling the oneness and blending of togetherness! We are not alone, we are all one!

The energy within me is sometimes so overpowering that I just don’t know what to do with myself. How to express it in a way that is creative and empowering to my self and all those around me? This is something I Am continuing to learn; for their have been many times in my life when this energy has overwhelmed me and I’ve hit out with words; with actions; with the innocence of one who is just totally frustrated with this immense feeling. It is the power of huge mountains; it is the power of the great oceans; it is the power of lightening and of an erupting volcano! I have mostly kept this energy coiled up deep inside of me, not knowing how to use and express it in a balanced way. I have been unaware of this ‘force’ inside, but think others have felt it. It seems some may have been in fear of this energy and moved away from me; some have tried to take this power from me and I have allowed this and then there are a few who have recognised this and shown me great love. I Am still learning, as we all are, to recognise this within myself, to honour my own power, to understand how to use this in the most beneficial way of joyful creation. I know I Am not alone in having these feelings! My hope is that in expressing this to others we may all expand our awareness and use this divine light to support each other as a united community.  

I Am touched by the innocence of my own naivety and constant awareness of the light and love in all things. Is it a naivety or is it the childlike part of me that knows and feels this existence in every form of life, whether inanimate or animate; for all comes from Mother Earth. 

I Am touched by the sweet laughter of children playing; by the cheerful song of awakening birds at dawn; by the patter of light rain on my window pane, inviting me to drink in these magical sounds of creation.

I Am touched when a stranger smiles at me from across the street; by the intense look of a baby who looks deep within my heart and soul; by the encouraging glance of a dear friend who knows, accepts and loves every part of me. 

I Am touched beyond words by the intense love I feel for this Home we call Planet Earth and know how She loves and adores everyone one of us despite the ignorance with which we abuse her love and care. Her lessons for us may be severe, but they are nothing compared to the deep hurts and pains she has had to endure and suffer for many a millennium.

I stand at the edge of the sea that they call ‘dead’, but I see and feel the aliveness in these waters, that are filled with crystalline forms and the most amazing minerals for healing all manner of ailments. I imagine the ocean that once filled this immense valley as I close my eyes and drift off into the colourful vibrant dream world of mermaids, dolphins and seahorses. I used to share these dreams with my sister and friends as they always appeared so very real, as if I were truly living these wondrous and magical moments. They would laugh at me, saying I was silly and stupid to imagine such things. I was confused, not knowing what was real and what was an illusion. My dream world and my conscious imagination were so clear and vivid, how could they not be real?  And yet, no-one else seemed to have similar experiences and when I asked my parents about this they just brushed it to one side with a look of ‘she’s just a child’. Am I really so stupid and crazy? This other world makes me feel so joyful and happy and yet the world in which we really live seems heavy with struggle, with illness and with the burdens of pretending that we are the chosen ones! As the years pass, it becomes more difficult to keep these dreams alive and to feel the joyful song of my soul singing and dancing with delight. This is who I truly Am, but often it seems very easy to forget.

I Am learning to read and write. I absolutely and resolutely insisted that this be a part of my education, even though in these times it was very rare for a girl to learn such skills. Why was completely beyond my comprehension. All this talk of it not being appropriate for women seemed to be an excuse for the men to hold power and keep us from expressing who we are. I was scorned for this by my own gender as well as the men, but my dear father could not resist my insistence and I honour him for his courage as he attempts to explain away ‘the phase she’s going through’!

Oh sweet life, I hear you call me to truly live from my heart and to flow with the purity of a child. This is fine advice, but in the world of illusion it can be frightening to fully encompass this way of light. It is important that our core of Who I Am is strong, for we can be challenged at every turn, by what can appear to be the opposite. It is only as we become wiser and more experienced that we realise these waves of opposition are lessons we have chosen as opportunities to strengthen and know ourselves even more profoundly.  

“It is not I that calls for silence. Silence comes naturally when all is in harmony. I adore the sounds of children’s curious questions, the gurgles of an enquiring baby and the soft tones of one who is moved to create sacred songs in my presence. Silence is my home, but this silence I can find within, even amidst the cacophony of life’s symphony of splendid sound”.

Early in the morning, mists often form over the great salty expanse of the Dead Sea, the Sea of Jericho, as some call her, and when there are no winds to blow the eerie whiteness away, we may be shrouded in this illusionary world for days. I often let myself go back in time to past lives of parting the great mists of Avalon, to move beyond the veil and rekindle my life growing up as a dedicated Priestess and Sister of the Well.  

I take myself forward in time now as I sit alone in my sanctuary cave at what is now known as La Baume. This Temple of Innocents has become a haven for many who come and sit in silence with the flickering light of sweet smelling beeswax candles. As we sit within the womb of the Great Mother the energy often builds as those present become One and we are moved to dance our feelings and sing the sounds of our emotions! This is always a beautiful healing of natural harmony, all supporting and encouraging each other by being fully present within our own truth. 

These temples are within us and as we recognise ………………….

I walk…. and journey on ........

It is the time of my death and I see myself floating over my body. I Am in the cave with many of the sisters who have been so loyal and dedicated over the years. There is such a purity in the atmosphere with all of us dressed in our simple white robes, slender white candles burning in the alcoves around the cave and festooned around the area where my body temple lies. I look so serene and peaceful. It was time to leave and I made this conscious choice, having tormented for the last few years over the need to be here on Earth for the others or to leave and join my beloved bridegroom. We have never been apart and yet the human form does not allow for the generous alignment that I Am now beginning to encompass in the form of my spiritual being. I know he is waiting; waiting for me to fully float away, to leave them all behind, to let go of this earthly realm and begin the next part of my divine journey into the vibrations of pure souls. I know there are many layers to transcend, but there is always time. Time to be.

The air is thick with a damp mist that fills the grief stricken lungs of my sweet sisters as they hold their composure at their loss. They know I Am but a breath away and yet the feeling of separation is overwhelming them. It is Marta, my own flesh and blood sister, who can hold back no more, her emotions pouring in floods of wailing tears from deep down inside of her. I can hear her heart scream forth in silent anguish as the frustration of all those years of unsaid words oozes out through every part of her being as a convulsive shaking. My soul longs to return to comfort her, to hold her in my arms and tell her how much she means to me, how much I have always loved and adored her and am grateful to her for her constant care and support. For oh so many years did she work hard at making sure everything was in order, that all the chores were done, while I seemed to swan around like a princess with very little to do. I know she often felt resentful towards me for what appeared to be an easy life of love, prayer and contemplation. Deep down she knew that my Way was hard and at times deeply traumatic. As I traversed the canyons of darkness and despair, the oceans of sadness and grief, she was always there for me, keeping me in contact with this earthly plane as I healed the emotional pains within my own life as well as that of countless lost souls who came to me. They came to this temple cave with hope and faith in their eyes – I could cry for them, but The Way was to accept and love them. They came in my dream state, so so many from where I do not know, but I often awoke exhausted from these fitful nights. I had agreed to stay and leave a legacy of compassion, to show others The Way to release suffering and sometimes in my learning I suffered greatly too.